Another hiatus – broken!

I’m back to dust the cobwebs off my page!

It has been a while and being busy just doesn’t cut it sometimes but that is my excuse. It is surprising since I’ve always been a firm believer that if you like something you would always find time for it no matter what.

So I should re-look into my priorities…

which leads me to this link I bump into today!

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/20-things-i-wish-id-known-my-late-twenties

No.7 totally applies to me. I am the lonely single in her twenties filling up her time with things to distract myself from the lonesome truth.

So I don’t rest. I don’t read romance stories although I do backslide on this once in a while (hormones). I don’t watch sappy movies with love and flowers in it. I just go out, exercise, make appointments, talk to anyone I know and spend time on everything but…myself.

I probably should reevaluate my lifestyle and choice of activities. Then another side of me would protest : but you’re having the time of your life, it’s FUN!

It’s always a raging battle inside and then people try guilt tripping you to doing things they think you SHOULD do. Thankfully I only feel guilty if I think I should have done the deed, which is, not all the time. I recover quickly from my bouts of guilt.

After all…things to do, right?

An Inspire Me Feature : Ghosts

Italo Calvino said: The more enlightened our houses are, the more their walls ooze ghosts. Describe the ghosts that live in this house: Image credit: “love Don’t live here anymore…” – © 2009 Robb North – made available under Attribution 2.0 Generic

I couldn’t tell if its night or day,

Light, does not reflect on my eyes…anymore.

***

Monday

She usually sits by the left window sill. Then takes a sip from her teacup, and immediately her eyes would zoom straight into mine. I would be sucked into her and then I would be beside her, with my hand in hers.

Crazy hair that stands in all direction would softly graze my face as she cuddles up to me. She wears only a large t-shirt, moving closer to me.

Everything about her is cold. Her lips look cold, her hands are cold, her feet are blue and her nipples would show. She’s very cold and she wants my warmth.

Tuesday

His sound of laughter would echo from the back door, beckoning you to explore the source. A ball would bounce across the house and then rebound to back to the other side.

He wears a blue shirt and black shorts with strangely muddy socks and shoes. His dark hair straight and long, tied behind in a pony tail.

He smiles, and pulls you to the nearest bog.

“Come, lets play” he says

“It will be fun” he says

“you won’t ever want to go home” he says

Wednesday

Golden curls reflecting the sunlight would blind my sight when she appears around noon. Her flowing pink dress with its frills and thrills. Her beautiful pink smile, and beautiful pink teeth.

She’s soft, graceful and genial. The white mare that accompanies her is never too far from her, grazing contently.

A pink puppy would bound about, through her, above her.

She smiles and starts to undress, showing her pink porcelain body all cracked and smashed with its gaps and holes.

“come” she whispers

“come”

Thursday

The storm hits and you run into the house, disregarding the past 3 days. Then suddenly, a creak of wood startles you.

Lightning strikes and a silhouette of a person seated on a rocking chair would appear.

Your heart hammers frantically against your rib cage as you debated between braving the storm and staying to find out.

“what…are..you doing…in my…HOUSE!”

Thunder roared and lightning strikes fiercely again.

You didn’t stay to find out this time.

Friday

You stared at the house again and notice that everything looks different.

Yesterday seemed to be a turning point and you wondered about that. Had everything always seem that way?

You recalled a scene on television, it was a scene during the war where everything was fuzzy, unclear and black and white.

That’s how the scene look like now, everything was fuzzy, unclear and black and white.

“I couldn’t tell if its night or day, light does not reflect in my eyes…anymore”

Now my dreams are against me

I have not been well the past few days, missing in training and sweating myself at night. It wasn’t comfortable, but I always look forward to sweet sweet sleep.

My dreams are always relatively normal. The dragons, adventures and the occasional love story always pop in or I get the cool darkness of R.E.M. sleep. So I don’t always remember my dreams after lunch.

The dream started with me, in a large institution, in the midst of battle preparation. I was in the arms of the person in charge of the battalion. A badass but a good leader. He was rough but he showered me with attention. I got random kisses, sudden hugs and hand grasping.

Then, with all the love in my eyes, I looked up to him and said “Would you go on a date with me?”

“No.”

The reply was swift and stabbed through my heart and before I could think of a retort I hear the sound of the alarm…

Bloody clock.

Good morning and bugger me. What a way to wake up.

Half an hour before shut eye

My favourite part of each day - aside from all my evening activities :

  • cardio
  • jiu jitsu classes
  • boxing classes
  • meeting up with friends
  • dinners
  • drinking parties

is the half an hour before I sleep.

During that 30 minutes, on my bed with my duvet pulled halfway across my body and my pillow arranged to comfortably support my back – I would look around my room. Drink in the sight of my memories, my books (and pondering if I should get a page or two in), my iPad, and the ceiling.

Out of all that I listed (yes, I love lists) – my top favourite would be staring up at the ceiling.

On my bed, finally tucked under my duvet and the lights turned off, the windows opened and the blinds drawn down. Stories will come to life. My imagined love life would become reality, the wondrous house I drew in my imagination would substantiate. Best part of all that? The adventures I would be in, the journey itself would be crafted in detail. From the clothes I wear, to the people in my party and the weapons I would be master at. Our quest would always be to defeat something and by some twist of my mind, the something would become my destined one. Then a whole series of comedic acts would be born and I would reduce myself to chuckles.

My eye lids would start getting heavy by then, my breathing getting deeper, and deeper. The sounds of the city would slowly simmer down and soon, I hear nothing at all.

Until morning breaks and my alarm clock welcomes me to a new day.

Back after a Breather

I have been missing classes before and after my Kinabalu trip, fitting in the time to complete my tasks at work and working out to get me ready for the climb.

Last night, I finally stepped into the gym and man it felt good, although I wasn’t as smooth or reacting as fast as I was before. The adrenaline and great sweat out worked for me.

Image

I have to say, the climb has definitely affected me, spiritually, mentally and physically. Right now, I’m thinking, I need to get back into the regime, to eat healthily, work out while having fun and living the lifestyle that improves my outlook in life!

While I was at the summit, all I could think of was “Wow. Thank you God for helping me reach the top. Your creation rocks ass.”

I felt a lot lighter, better and ready to take on the world. Not entirely sure why but it seemed important for me to list out the things I want to do, accomplish, improve as well as what I want to do with myself.

Strange that one climb made such a difference in thought and outlook. I have another amazing adventure waiting for me in October. Will that too, be the tipping point of my life?

I can’t wait.

Outdoor Outing Fun

What a way to kickstart the weekend by waking up early and getting outdoors right away!

After my trip up to Mount Kinabalu, I just can’t get enough of being in tune with nature and just sweating out all the air conditioning out of my system. I love that with each pump of the muscles, I’m moving forward, just walking or jogging into greenery.

My friends and I went to Bukit Cahaya, a botanical garden in Shah Alam, which is pretty far from our homes, about 20 km away. Road trip! It was great that we car pool so we chatted all the way to our destination whilst being accompanied by good music.

The picnic was fantastic with everyone contributing food, drinks, snacks and desserts. I have to say, the best part is where 2 of the new comers brought a whole watermelon and pineapple, equipped with a knife and chopping board! Enthusiastic people!

Two from our group organised this outing and also put in some games to while away the time rather than doing nothing and providing nourishment to the resident mosquitoes.

Some of us were becoming a buffet meal…they probably got really delicious virginal blood that has not been exposed to being outdoors so much. Mmmm office blood.

Picnic Outing

I’m getting really addicted to the outdoors and am in the midst of planning a few more excursions, one of them is definitely a second trip up Mount Kinabalu but through the Mersilau route.

The next is to Gunung Tahan, will need to check around to see how the trip will be like, heard that its a 7 day hiking trip return.

Also up my sleeve is a trip to Israel! Now that is one trip I can’t wait to pack my bags for!!

Now, I shall rest and get my book out to relax before a pint or few more tonight.

Hellllloooooo Saturday indeed :)

I’ve climbed Mount Kinabalu!

One of the top “things-to-do” that I have wanted to achieve since I was 18 has finally been cleared!

So glad that I’m starting to fulfill my life dreams one by one.

The climb up was not immensely difficult, though it was not a walk in the park either. I find the hardest part at the last 700 metres to the summit. I was at the verge of giving up so many times. My stomach was growling with accumulated gasses and hunger; the wind was blowing cold air into my exposed face, I was tired both physically and mentally.

I really wanted to give up. Imagine if I did! I would have kicked myself silly for stopping just 700 metres away!

The thing that helped and made a difference was the constant voice of encouragement by a friend. She held my hand at the toughest point and stopped with me when I felt low. Then she would say “Are we ok now? Ready to move on?”

Another friend would also say “Ok let’s move forward” And he would say it no matter how many times we stop.

By the time I reach the top, I was unable to catch the sunrise, but oh boy, was the view wondrous. I was just in awe that 4,095 metres above ground and we did it.

My feel good moment at the top :)

Sometimes in the morning

A sudden pick me up will appear. Its always unasked, which makes it unexpectedly good. This morning I remembered a friend’s blog that I haven’t visited in a long while, its a personal blog written the way she sees things, the way she thinks and the things that makes her happy. 

I like this friend and every time I read her writings I remember our nice meet ups, our early mornings spent exercising together, our evenings eating and sometimes through encouraging comments written on each other’s blogs. 

Today I saw a post where she linked a video from youtube – I lift my hands by Chris Tomlin. Indeed for the grump I can be some mornings, the song lifted my soul and made me feel that its all good.

The link is below if you’d like to check it out :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=c24En0r-lXg