Off days, Holidays, Working days

These days there aren’t any difference between the three. I work nearly everyday and I have my off moments where I just switch off (doesn’t matter if I’m actually relaxing or sneaking off in the office reading a comic book – I thank God my boss doesn’t have my blog URL).

Long days at work makes me tired. Long holidays makes me restless, while off days…I just remain switched off (I can imagine a red on/off button just at the back of my spine then).

I wonder what is it I’m looking for now?

Staring at the screen with a stern face – as my colleagues say. I thought about the question. I quickly switch the page to an excel document just to make it look like I’m working and sat quietly with Maroon 5 pumping their party like music into my ears.

My fingers pressed onto my temple as I try to figure out my frustration. (Really? I’m frustrated? Its hard to admit it but that is the closest feeling I can relate to now)

Then my thoughts started wandering to memories of me screaming my lungs out in New Zealand as I zipped down a line in god-knows-how-many-miles-per-hour. That brought a small smile. Another thought came and I was out under the blue sky with the sun kissing my face. My heart starts beating a little faster.

And my eyes grew tired.

I know what I need to do, so here’s a couple of quotes to pick me up and hopefully you’d find something from it too.

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.
Dale Carnegie

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
H. Jackson Brown Jr. (P.S. I Love You)

Motivating me

I was in need of cheering up last night when not getting any rest was finally getting to me. I was physically tired, mentally drained and emotionally unstable. Never knew being so tired can change a person like that.

Before I turned into a blubbering mess, I called a friend to distract my thoughts. What better way to fix things by not dwelling on the problem only? This friend, (poor guy), is an exceptionally nice person and for some reason or rather, I can get exceptionally irritated by him.

So I called him :

Me : Hi, can you talk now?
Him : Yep whassup?
Me : I need something to distract me so that I can sleep, hurry, say something irritating.
Him : ?!?!?!? WTH?!
Him : Are you okay?
Me : I’m fine, I’m good but I need something to distract me…

(at this moment my voice started to choke which probably caused some concern, but I didn’t want that to be the focus)

Me : Say something

(He failed at first saying something of no significance)

Him : Erm,….okay…I don’t know what to say now…
Me : Btw ….(starts talking about our meeting arrangements)
Him : Ah…

He started giving half hearted answers, and that’s when my irritation grew. I know now what ticks me off.

He then proceeded to give me more half hearted answers. I was boiling mad.

Me : Urgh! You’re so irritating! I hate you! I’m going to bed now! G’night!!!

*hangs up*

Phew. I did feel better. And this morning, I woke up refreshed and found a couple of quotes to continue motivating my spirit. Here’s to a good day!

Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.
Victor Kiam

I can, therefore I am.
Simone Weil

Living Anew

Not sure where I heard it but it has been repeated over time again and again. Its this phrase :

We are creatures of habit

I found a phrase that I agree and disagree to. After all, it is only when you’re able to accept things at their essence that enables you to break away from it.

My comfort zone revolves around not doing anything, I save a lot of money because of that. But I also meet less people and know less about my surroundings, or what’s fun to do. I would have been a horrible tour guide.

I would return home from work, look for food, watch TV, take a shower, go to sleep. This continues every day for the week days, unless I have a class or practise to attend. Weekends really aren’t any different; wake up, look for food, read my book, watch TV, probably go out if my friends look for me, come home, dinner, watch TV, sleep.

Very routine, predictable and pretty comfortable. But of course, like every hot blooded person, I get frustrated. That I don’t go out, that I don’t have that many friends, that I don’t feel like I’m living a life.

Well, its pretty easy to see why!

Then my 25th birthday this year came. I decided, and I made a choice to do whatever it takes to change my lifestyle, to change. I want to live.

Along with that I immediately bought a notebook that I carry everywhere I go with a beautiful quote on the cover:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

How I needed that. Its not about motivation, its not about success. Its about living a breathless life (haha, it sounds wrong but I’m pretty sure you could guess my intention!).

I set a game plan, and I wrote it as a page on this blog titled “the 10 things –  a work in progress – 2012“. To commit myself, to set easy to reach goals and to remind myself each time.

Of course as we have all experienced, will power don’t always bring you far (I do believe there are exceptional individuals out there who disagree), I prayed. I pray that I will have the determination to accomplish my goals and I also pray that I will enjoy myself along the way!

So far, it has been wonderful. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m loving myself more and more.

Our Humanity Defined

Yorish: I say that civilization is an illusion, a game of pretend. What is real is the fact that we are still animals, driven by primal instincts. As a psychiatrist, you must know this to be true.

Carol: To be honest, ambassador, when someone starts talking to me about the truth, what I hear is what they’re telling me about themselves more than what they’re saying about the world.
Dr. Henryk Belicec: Quite right, well done, doctor.
Yorish: Perhaps this is true, perhaps being a Russian in this country is a kind of pathology. So what do you think, can you help me? Can you give me a pill? To make me see the world the way you Americans see the world. Can a pill help me understand Iraq, or Dafur, or even New Orleans?
Dr. Henryk Belicec: Don’t be drawn in by his madness, doctor. He is Russian, he needs to argue like he needs to breathe.
Yorish: All I am saying is that civilization crumbles whenever we need it most. In the right situation, we are all capable of the most terrible crimes. To imagine a world where this was not so, where every crisis did not result in new atrocities, where every newspaper is not full of war and violence. Well, this is to imagine a world where human beings cease to be human.
Carol: While I’ll give you that we still retain some basic animal instincts, you have to admit we’re not the same animal we were a few thousand years ago.
Yorish: True.
Carol: Read Piaget, Kohlberg or Maslow, Graves, Wilber, and you’ll see that we’re still evolving. Our consciousness is changing. Five hundred years ago, postmodern feminists didn’t exist yet one sits right beside you today. And while that fact may not undo all of the terrible things that have been done in this world, at least it gives me reason to believe that one day, things may be different.
Yorish: Thank you, doctor.
Carol: You’re welcome, ambassador.

This is a dialogue from the movie “The Invasion”. It questions the basis of humanity where it is in the nature of human beings to be violent. Without violence, we cease to be human, whether this is true or not, I find it very disturbing.

Its not assuring as well as we read the daily newspaper with its report of riots, deaths and impending doom of the universe.  Why must there be violence in order for things to be peaceful again? Why must people be hurt for others to be saved?

At the end of the day, I believe if I were to suck in all this statements on dooms day and the message portrayed from the movie, I would be immensely depressed and may turn to the dark side.

However, darkness is merely the absence of light, and when we allow light into our life, there is hope. I thank God that I have that light in me, otherwise I would not have hope to go on.

This verse carries the truth: Jeremiah 29:11

The truth shall set you free.

Love Quotes and words

“I am in love — and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life.”
D. H. Lawrence

Reading such a passionate quote almost convinced me to run out and find the person to love!

If I have a boyfriend, I would’ve call up the person and rekindle my emotions of that person.

Words are such powerful tools, and when formed into sentences, they can shake the nation.

KC